After A Breakup Or Divorce, Who’s Got Your Back?
People often times misconstrue the idea of “Gathering Your Team” to only mean that we need professionals around us, the people whose support comes with a bill after. While those folks are certainly necessary, so is your inner circle.
Gathering your inner circle is VITAL for keeping your sanity when going through a break up, separation, or divorce. Vital.
You need good people around you. Right now.
I’ll never forget the time a friend asked me to dinner in the middle of my separation. At the last minute I just couldn’t do it. I couldn’t bring myself to leave the house, it simply wasn’t going to happen.
I sheepishly made the call and let her know where I was at emotionally and that I needed to hibernate for the night. Her response? She asked if she and her husband could drop dinner off at my house so I at least had something to eat.
Every cell in my body told me to say “No thank you.” To turn down the offer as it was so fucking embarrassing to be this needy. Instead I thanked her and said that would be amazing.
Thirty minutes later I had a home cooked meal sitting on my doorstep. There was even a chocolate chip cookie along with it. That’s love.
Who is one person you can reach out to day?
If people have offered their help, are you accepting it?
Even if that’s just ONE person you can reach out to at three in the morning when you wake up in a cold sweat after dreaming of your ex. Trust me, I’ve made that call.
If no one steps up and offers their assistance to you, take the step yourself. Give yourself the permission to both reach out, and to accept the help when it arrives. Don’t try to be an island through this – especially you men.
Reach out, tell your friend that you’re in a bad way at the moment and ask if they’ll be there to support you. Put yourself in their shoes and ask yourself what you’d do if they did the same.
More than likely you’d lend them an ear and an encouraging word.
You know what? I didn’t die from accepting the cookie themed kindness above. It didn’t make me weaker. In fact it was a beautiful reminder that people out there cared about me.
Accept the help that comes your way and ask for it when you need it.
Give yourself PERMISSION to be taken care of today.